LED Readers; Uses You’ve Likely Never Thought of

My new LED Illuminighter Reading Glasses are a blessing.

Hello, you.

With rechargeable LED lights built-in at the temples, they allow illumination in the tightest quarters. This gives them a number of practical applications, including connecting computer cables in the darkness under one’s desk, reading past one’s bedtime, or examining TPS reports in poorly lit airport lounges.

But those are just the pragmatic, everyday applications.

There are numerous, more radical situations in which these glasses can provide a significant advantage. And that is why I love them. They allow me to imagine myself a hero, a man immune to the dark, an agent of light in a world deprived.

Here are but a few off-the-wall scenarios in which our LED readers are a significant boon.

1) Regional power outages.

Here’s the thing people forget about power outages: You need the use of your hands. Flashlights are a wonderful invention, certainly, but they fill at least one (and sometimes both) of your hands. And if you’re tasked with carrying flashlights, how are you supposed to manage vital, two-handed tasks, like using a can opener on non-perishables? Or fixing a generator? Or rocking and burping an infant in distress?

2. Blinding/confusing an oncoming attacker in the dark.

Remember that scene in Rear Window, where Jimmy Stuart repeatedly stuns his charging attacker with a camera flash? THESE BLIND ATTACKERS TOO!

3. Seasons of complete darkness in the northernmost reaches of the northern hemisphere and the southernmost reaches of the southern hemisphere.

If you live in a region yearly bedelved into months of sunlessness (I’m looking at you, North and South Polers!), is there any better product than glasses with built-in lights? The answer is: No way!

So there you have it, folks. Just a handful of uses for our LED Readers that you had probably never thought of. If you’ve always had the itch to buy a pair, scratch it. They’ll come in handy.

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